Sometimes when I think of Christmas and the holidays, I often wish there really was a caring and thoughtful Santa Claus to take care of all of my needs and worries. From buying all the gifts himself, to helping and keeping my loved ones content. An all loving Santa to eliminate my loneliness and give me a backrub caused by the sheer physical exhaustion related to holiday errands and obligations. Unfortunately Santa won’t be coming and I’m left to deal with anxiety that peaks during the holidays. And I’m not alone. Anxiety is a very common condition before the holidays and affects a lot of people. So what are the causes of anxiety before the holidays? Let’s find out…….

Holiday Anxiety is caused by lack of social support and family and friends. Seeing and imagining everyone with a warm and loving family while you’re feeling excluded is bound to leave one anxious and depressed. Holiday anxiety can also be caused by other factors like financial worries and additional strain on an already tight budget. Physical exhaustion from holiday related errands and obligations to social anxiety and dealing with overwhelming group tension. Addressing all of those pesky issues can make our holiday season a heck a lot more enjoyable and anxiety-free.  

In this awesome article I will talk about different causes of holiday anxiety and offer a ton of highly effective solutions to get rid of your anxiety for good. 

Lack of Social Support and Connections and No Family or Friends

For some Christmas, Hanukkah, etc is the most wonderful time of the year because they get to spend it with their loving family and their best friends. But for others, this special holiday season can be a much-dreaded period that they desire to get over with as soon as possible. Anxiety, loneliness, and depression can creep in if one doesn’t have a healthy and happy family to rely on, or if one’s family lives far away, perhaps in another city or in another country.

Over-commercialization of holidays creates false images and expectations of being surrounded by many friends and a big supportive family and realizing that you’re lacking that support system can make you feel isolated and anxious. Looking at other "happy" families, romantic couples, and close friends can trigger comparisons and a feeling of dread if you’re falling short of having those relationships in your own life. 

Financial Worries

Anxiety during the holidays can creep in because you lack the financial means to purchase anything more than is necessary. Or because like me, you are the type of person that tries to go above and beyond when picking a gift for another and wants to make sure that the gift that you present will be suitable, enjoyable, and adored. And that of course, takes a lot of time and a lot of energy. From knowing the other person well enough to find just the thing that will suit their taste to having enough money to buy it.

Or perhaps you were invited out to a big and fancy party where you feel like you will be judged based on what you bring as a gift. That thought alone can make you feel anxious and hinder your desire to leave the house. Or maybe you’re anxious because you lost your job and are unable to buy gifts due to lack of funds. You have a family and perhaps children and know that gifts will be expected of you, but due to limited resources you are unable to meet their expectations. Being unable to provide and show your love through gift-giving can deepen sadness and heighten anxiety.   

Physical Exhaustion from Holiday Related Errands and Obligations

Most of us have way too much to do and not enough time to do it all. The holidays are a time for joy and celebration, but they also add additional demands on our time and resources. More trips to the store, extra time spent doing research to get just the right gift or to find a particular store where the gift can be purchased, helping friends and family, planning parties and events, hosting and dressing up, cooking, picking that perfect Christmas tree and decorating it, etc. The  list goes on and on. And if you’ve got a lot of friends and a huge family, then just thinking of all the things that you've got to do is bound to leave you anxious and exhausted.   

Social Anxiety and Socializing

Around the holidays, social anxiety can rear its ugly head, too. And if you want to get into depth about what social anxiety is and how to manage it, then check out this article — How to Overcome Social Anxiety and Become a Pro at Small Talk Big parties and large gatherings can leave someone socially anxious. Especially if you’re not used to big gatherings or get uncomfortable with a lot of people around you. You might become overly sensitive as to how you’re being perceived by others or decide that you’re not fun or cool enough to meet other people. Holiday parties can trigger social anxiety in many people, who may view large gatherings as a test of their self-worth and social skills ( with the potential of falling short and becoming embarrassed). Entering a large space filled with people, approaching familiar or new faces, and trying to find the right things to talk about can trigger fears of showing signs of anxiety and being judged.

If you’re hosting a party, it can also be incredibly nerve-wrecking. Hosting a party can raise pressure to make sure that everything is just right and to make sure that everyone is having a good time. Anxiety can also creep-up if you are uncertain how many people or if enough people will show up to your holiday party. This can add additional pressure as you want enough people to be at the party so others are entertained and have the opportunity to have a good time.  

And finally, no family is perfect — so many have to attend family gatherings that they would rather not attend. Perhaps one or two of your parents are narcissistic, so now you’re anxious and walking on eggshells just like in your childhood. If your family is toxic, then the holidays can reignite old wounds and bring back a less than pleasant past that you would rather not relive.    

In Conclusion

Holidays can be incredibly Hygge, blissful, and loving, but if you’re alone, experiencing social anxiety, or have a toxic family, then you would rather avoid the holidays altogether. Some causes of holiday anxiety can be lack of social connections or no family. Anxiety can also appear if one lacks the finances to purchase expensive gifts or cannot purchase any gifts at all. Time is already such a scarce resource for many of us, and when you add holiday obligations to the equation then we might feel anxious and pushed to the edge. And finally, social anxiety and feeling like you have to socialize with those that you would rather avoid can make you feel depressed and anxious.

Luckily, there are a lot of things you can do to manage your anxiety, so let's talk about them because prevention is always a better alternative.  

Tips to Relieve or Eliminate Holiday Anxiety

• Exercise and eat healthy. Here is another awesome article that you should definitely check out if you are curious about mental health and nutrition relationship - What Impact Does Nutrition Have on Mental Health? Exersicing releases a lot of feel-good hormones like endorphins, relieves stress and makes us feel happy and content. And eating healthy provides our body with endless vitamins and minerals, among other important nutrients giving our body exactly what it needs to fight stress and keep anxiety at bay.

• Set a budget if you’re concerned about finances and don’t spend more than you decided to on any gift.

• Talk to your family and agree to spend a certain amount on each other, this way nobody feels guilty, upset, or sad for under/over spending on a gift.  

• Embrace Hygge, which in other words self-care and connecting with others. Go out to a coffee shop or an awesome book store and buy yourself some herbal tea or coffee and curl up into a comfortable chair with a book or a magazine. Don’t have family around for the holidays? That’s okay. Schedule an awesome trip with your good friends that are also free. Or take a trip by yourself.  

• Set boundaries with your toxic family. Make sure to let them know what you are comfortable with and what you aren’t comfortable with ahead of time and tell them if they violate your boundaries then you will remove yourself from the situation. In other words, show and tell other people how you want to be treated. 

• Attend holiday events and parties for single people. Trust me, unless you’re in the middle of nowhere, there are a ton in your city. Look on Facebook, Eventbrite, and Meetup.com. Check out this article on how to make friends as an adult - How and Where to Make Friends as an Adult 

• Refrain from using alcohol or sugar to self-medicate your anxiety. A lot of times when we are stressed or anxious we reach for high carbohydrates and processed foods that tend to create the opposite of what we want. Try having a sweet baked potato with cinnamon or baking a healthy pumpkin pie. Sugar and alcohol can leave us even more depressed and anxious. So stay away and replace them with something that will support you. 

• If you can then I highly recommend outsourcing. Check out this blog on the many benefits of outsourcing and how you can go about doing it - Outsourcing Can Help Anxiety

• Know when to say "nope". Sometimes we have to say no because we don’t have anything left to give. Know your limits and don’t be afraid of disappointing others. It’s you who will be disappointed if you get sick or burnt-out from overdoing and over pleasing.  

• Unplug baby. Yes, from social media and from your phone. Not only will you have enough energy and time to finally get that holiday shopping done, but you might have a little more time to take care of yourself and lower your anxiety. And if you’re struggling with social media/tech addiction, then definitely sign-up for our FREE Social Media Detox Challenge.

• Reach out to your friends and talk it out. There is a reason why talk therapy is so popular among therapists. It works! So dial your friend/friends and tell them what is on your mind. I always find it really helpful to chat with my friends whenever I am dealing with something difficult and they are always there to help.

• Set small achievable goals like talking to at least two people at the big party or smiling and being friendly with others. Trust me, most cannot resist the smile of another, and before you know it you’ll probably be making a ton of new acquaintances.

• Manage and redirect your own negative thoughts. If you notice that you’re becoming overly negative, then instead of attaching and believing your thoughts, disregard them and counter them with positive thoughts. Remember we are the consciousness that is observing our thoughts— we aren’t our thoughts. This will prevent anxiety and depression from spiraling out of control. Master your mind and you’ll be the master of your universe.

• Create realistic expectations instead of setting yourself up for perfection and then failure. Leave room for errors and mistakes and plan accordingly. Be kind with yourself. Being realistic in this case really helps and will help you feel less anxious.  

Sources

Holiday Depression and Stress (webmd.com)

https://uihc.org/health-topics/coping-holiday-anxiety-and-stress

A Guide to Managing Holiday Stress & Anxiety | Amy Myers MD ®