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How To Find and Make New Friends You Actually Like As an Adult

I just went to a playground with my son and noticed something interesting. One kid ran up to another kid casually and without much thought asked the other kid to become friends. The other kid cheerily replied, "Okay,” and they ran off to play together. I chuckled to myself, thinking about how easy it is to make friends as a child and then immediately wondered why it becomes so difficult as we get older.

If you’re wondering the same and are interested in learning how and where you can make friends as an adult, then this article is for you. The truth of the matter is that making friends as an adult is a lot easier than you think. Especially if you’re willing to let your inner kid be in the driver's seat and do a little bit of extra work. 

You can make new friends by learning to become more forgiving, friendly, and inviting, and by giving other people a chance. As adults, we tend to get jaded and disappointed in others from past let-downs, hurts, and betrayals. Many of us carry the past pain with us without processing it and letting it go. This bitter attitude makes it difficult for us to move on and start trusting others again. Our inability to move past previous betrayal makes it impossible for us to heal and open our hearts to a fresh connection.

In this article I am going to talk more about how adults can make new friends and give you a lot of great options where you can meet others. From joining a sports team to using friendship apps. To volunteering and actually putting effort into making new friendships. The possibilities are endless if you’re willing to try.

Let’s get into it……

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Give Other People a Chance

Like I already mentioned at the top, a lot of us get hurt and disappointed as adults by the relationships we've had in the past. We then close ourselves off to other people, thinking that other people will hurt and betray us, just like our relationships from the past. Human beings are social animals and we thrive when we have healthy and fulfilling relationships. But we can’t fulfill that basic social need if we stay bitter and jaded. Through forgiveness, we can open our hearts again and allow for a new person to enter our lives. Giving other people a chance means being open to a new connection and having faith that this person won't betray you.

Initiate and Deepen Existing Connections

A lot of us already have potential friendships in either our social circles or on social media. For example, many people on my social media were people that I’ve met once or twice but never really deepened a relationship with. Your situation is probably similar to mine so why not look at your friends list and see who you want to become good friends with. You’ve also got an advantage online now, as you probably already know what they like, don’t like, what their behavior is like on social media, and whether they are the type of person that would be a good fit in your life and that you'd want to get to know better. So look through your contacts, write down several top picks, and then make an initiation and send them a message or give them a call if you know their number.

Join a Gym or a Sports Team

By joining a gym or a sport that you enjoy playing, not only will you have a great time, but you might also meet someone that you click with. Birds of a feather flock together, and what this expression implies is that people with the same interests and similar outlook prefer to hang around one another. So by joining a sport or a gym that you like, you are a lot more likely to meet someone that you can find a lot of common interests with. On the plus side, there are a lot of different people that tend to frequent these places, so you'll have a lot of people to choose from. So next time you’re on a treadmill, or in a CrossFit class, try to listen to your intuition and strike up a conversation with a person that you’re the most drawn to. A big smile and "how are you liking this class?", can go a long way.

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Put Effort Into Friendships

The fact of the matter is that all relationships take a lot of energy and effort to maintain. Just like anything in life. If we want things to last and function well, then we need to nurture and take care of them. Be it a car, or a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, a job, or your house. Doesn’t matter. A lot of friendships that could have been great are just not given enough steam to keep going, so they fizzle out. That usually happens when one person has put in a lot of effort and the other person becomes lazy and unresponsive. For a relationship to work, the two parties need to be almost equally involved and invested. Otherwise, the relationship is going to end up failing. So if you want a good friend, then become a good friend. And put some time, effort, and energy into the relationships that you already have but that you have not had the time to nurture.

Try Travelling or Joining a Networking Event

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Adults tend to have more money and opportunities to travel. So why not take advantage? You can even try a staycation if you don’t feel like leaving your country. When we travel to new places, we become significantly more aware of our surroundings and more attuned to the people around us. Our expectations change and we expect to meet others and make friends. Traveling not only makes us feel good, but it gives us a lot of opportunities to meet like-minded people. When we feel good we tend to attract the same so your chances of meeting someone that’s good for you increase. If you’re traveling, then try to book a hostel or an Airbnb. Both give you a greater opportunity to meet and make friends with either awesome hosts or intelligent and adventurous travelers.

Joining a networking event is another great option. Try MeetUp.com or Eventbrite.com. It doesn’t matter what industry you come from or what your interests are; there are tons of great meet-ups that you can join and meet interesting people at. And you might just land a new position, too, if you’re looking for work. If you like someone, then don’t hesitate to talk to them and then either invite them for a drink, or go out to lunch. People at these particular events expect these things, so they are more likely to agree to go out. And then you might just make a friend for life.

Other Places Your Can Try Connecting with Others - 

  • Playgrounds and parks

  • Places of worship 

  • Volunteering at an animal shelter or a beach clean-up

  • Use friendship apps like Bumble BFF, VINA, or Peanut

  • Join a book club

  • Reach out to neighbors 

  • Ask one of your co-workers to hang out

In Conclusion

Making friends as an adult can be just as easy as making friends as a kid. It simply takes a conscious effort on your end and a willingness to put in the time and energy into developing, nurturing, and maintaining your relationships. You can start by working on forgiving others and moving past negative former relationships. Forgiveness will help you to trust again and leave room for another relationship to enter your heart. Another thing to consider is deepening already existing relationships that you have in your social circles and on social media. You can also join a gym or a sports club that will offer you a great opportunity to meet like-minded individuals. And last is dedicating more of your time to relationships that have fizzled out and traveling or attending a networking event that meets your fancy.